Why am I writing?

4 07 2010

It feels crazy to be writing these personal parts of my life for other people to read.

This stuff is important. This is the stuff that makes me ME. This is the stuff that you don’t always share on the first date, those tidbits of information that you hang onto until you really know a person can handle it.

I went through so much of my life being embarrassed. I have a messy disease and you don’t always want to tell your peers that you had an accident at walmart and needed to buy new pants to make it home. You don’t want to tell people that the reason you aren’t eating that food they made is because it sends you to the bathroom with diarrhea. I remember being in high school and not making it to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up the best I could and was crying from embarrassment and trying to slip through the hallway full of people unnoticed so I could just go home. When I was trapped in a people traffic jam on the stairs, I heard someone say, “Something smells like SHIT!” My face flushed completely red and I put my head down and fled.

How do you tell other teenagers this is going on? The last thing I wanted to hear was rejection or laughter.

I have always been open about my disease. I have always been vague about its details.

This is a way for me to take a deep breath and tell you how it really is. The good, the bad, and the ugly. How I lived through accidents until I was 21 years old, and how my friends rallied around and supported me through the toughest time of my life.

People surprise you. Life surprises you.




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