10 09 2010

I’ve been meaning to wash my sheets for like, twelve years.

I forgot again and now everyone is asleep in my house and it would be stupid to wake them up just so I can do some laundry. And no matter how quiet I try to be, I will for sure trip over the dog and crash into the tiny desk that crouches in my hallway in the dark waiting for me every night. Then everyone will wake up and say in panicked voices, “What’s wrong??”

Uh… I want my sheets to smell like apple mango tango?

Won’t go over well. Promise.

Maybe I should fake a night leak just for the excuse of using the washing machine. Who said ostomies aren’t good for anything? Obviously they are a good excuse for late-night laundry shenanigans.




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