I’m sick.

27 03 2011

Not Crohn’s sick, thank goodness.

Normal people sick.

Kindergarten teacher with five sick kids in my morning class sick.

Sinus infection, sore throat, cough and gurgly lungs sick.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for a second time and they gave me steroids to go with the antibiotics and they gave me a breathing treatment which ROCKED. LOVE BREATHING TREATMENTS.

I’m getting better. But being sick is always crappy. But tomorrow I’m taking a sick day. I’m going to sit around in my pajamas and drink pots of tea and eat soup and read books. Then I’m going to grit my teeth and force myself to be better and go back to school on Tuesday and be a teacher again.

Today I wrote my first set of substitute plans. I learned that you can’t just call in sick as a teacher. This job has way more responsibilities than my other jobs where I would just email my boss when I didn’t feel well.

But I LOVE my job. So those responsibilities are ok with me.

This week I had a conversation with a coworker about how my immune system is suppressed because of my medication so when kids cough directly into my face, it’s a bad thing. That led into a discussion of my Crohn’s disease and she asked if I had a bag. After I said yes she got all interested and asked where it was and told me she never knew. She never would have guessed.

That was pretty cool to hear. It’s a cool conversation to have, to be open about something that’s such a huge part of my life. But it’s especially great to hear because as a teacher I get severely limited bathroom breaks. Lunch and the kid’s specials (art, gym, etc.), so maybe three times a day. Sometimes by the time those breaks roll around my bag is pretty full. It makes me self-conscious because I notice it. The kids don’t. They still hug me and pull on my sleeve and ask questions. Sometimes when they hug me I’m afraid they’ll say, “WHAT’S THAT?” Kids have no boundaries.

But that hasn’t happened. They never notice. The other teachers don’t ask about that weird bulge that I see.

IT’S BECAUSE NOBODY SEES IT BUT ME. Isn’t that a crazy thing to wrap your mind around? That something you are so conscious of, something that you worry about and think about and try so hard to cover up is not even on the radar of the people around you?

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One response

27 03 2011
Nicku Nicku Nicku

“That something you are so conscious of, something that you worry about and think about and try so hard to cover up is not even on the radar of the people around you?”

yes

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