Body Image

14 12 2011

As you know, I’m on prednisone right now. And I’ll be really honest. It makes me feel really crappy about myself.

I’ve always been uncomfortable with how I look, and prednisone makes me gain weight and makes my face puffy plus gives me more insecurities by making my moods crazy bad.

I went to a CCFA meet and greet yesterday and a woman there said after I mentioned I’m on prednisone, “Oh, I can see you have the moon face.”

What? Really? That’s something that I can see in myself but was hoping other people didn’t see. And that comment cemented this impression in my mind of a giant face. And being on prednisone makes me fixate on it more. It’s this terrible cycle of badness.

Today in class we had this really neat activity where the kids did a scavenger hunt around the school to discover facts about different countries. They wrote their facts down in a passport. As the teacher was explaining how to fill out the first page of the passport, including height at weight to make it feel more real, a girl raised her hand and said, “I don’t want to include my weight. That’s really private and makes me uncomfortable.”

It was that moment where it hit me how ridiculous I am being, and how ridiculous we allow our culture and our media to make us feel. This little girl, this seven year old, is already so uncomfortable with herself and her weight. And what everyone else sees is a smart, funny, talented little girl, and she doesn’t see that.

It is so easy for us to get distracted from all that we can offer and be bogged down with our faults. I see all the side effects from my medications and my mood swings and weight fluctuations. I see sometimes this ostomy that I have and all the baggage that my disease brings and I have a hard time remembering that I bring a lot to the table as well. That I am a good friend and a good teacher and that I put all of myself into my relationships with the people that I love.

I challenge you to think about all the ways you sell yourself short. I challenge you to think about all the things you have to offer. Remember that to others you are smart and funny and talented. Let’s work on making a culture of love and self-acceptance so seven-year-olds can love themselves the way they are.

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2 responses

16 12 2011
Thomas

Everytime I read your posts it opens my mind to a different aspect of situations. I’d love to have a conversation with someone who tinks like this.

16 12 2011
Melissa

I’m so glad you keep reading and commenting! It makes my day.

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